Keeping Kids in the Non-Virtual World

Are your kids more in the virtual world or the non-virtual world?

As I read Plugged In, but Tuned Out (an article from the Wall Street Journal that Brett at Dadtalk pointed out to me — Thanks Brett!), I don't see my own kids getting too wrapped up in the virtual, but the potential is certainly there.

One mother I interviewed refers to her son's bedroom as "the technology cave." He has a TV, computer, stereo, iPod and cellphone. She won't allow food in his bedroom because "that forces him out into the open with us."

I have two kids, still a few years off from their teens. Here is where we stand:

• Cell Phone: Nope.
• iPods: Yes.
• TV: In the living room only
• Video Games: Console at Mom's House; One child uses a Nintendo DS in my house.
• Computer: One in the living room that they share, with time limits.
• Regular Phone: Not in their rooms (Actually I'm currently using Skype at home, so once again, they're tied to the computer in the living room.)

No technology cave in my kid's rooms. I admit: I still struggle to keep them in the non-virtual world, but I succeed most of the time. My younger one would use his Nintendo DS for 8 hours a day if I let him. When I tell him time's up, he'll run for the TV next, or maybe the computer, but I usually intercept him. The older one isn't so much into video games, but she likes TV and shows signs of early online-shopping addiction. She always has something that she plans to buy. I tell her to put it in her wish list for when she has a job.

The article mentions how kids seem to be tuned out of the real-world current events, but it admits that it's been these way for 100 years. I grew up before the days of personal computers and I wouldn't have a clue about who was nominated for the Supreme Court either. I'm not going to worry if my kids aren't loaded up with current events — Politics and world events keeps me too distracted from my work as it is, and I find it often depressing.

I want to be sure the kids are not tuning out family, friends, pets, homework and school. What can I do to make sure that happens? Aside from the harping to get them off of the screens, I try to get them involved in doing things. This weekend, we played Life (the board game). I also got them involved with me doing the laundry. We talked a bit. We went to IKEA together. We saw the new Wallace and Gromit movie. We ate pizza and talked some more. Oh yes, there was a bit of protesting at first at being away from the DS for that long, but I think they enjoyed the time as a family.

They seemed happier having done all that, and I felt like I got extra hugs out of the deal from them. I think the key, if you don't want the kids to tune out of your world, is not to tune out of theirs. Spend time in a shared world with them, instead of having a separate "parent's world" and a "kid's world".

What's it like in your family? How do you keep them in the non-virtual world?