Speaking to a customer who was trying out ComputerTime, I was asked if ComputerTime did parental control types of things. What she really was asking was, “Does ComputerTime do internet filtering?” Some people think the terms are synonymous. But parental control software is a more general term and can refer to different types of control.
Blocking and Logging Parental Control Software
Most parental control software that hit the market over a decade ago, primarily monitored or blocked websites along with other internet related activities. Some software went as far as spying on kids every activity.
Website blocking software has never been extremely effective*. To be effective, the database of sites that need to be blocked has to be complete. But everyday, tens of thousands of new domains are registered. Old domains expire and are acquired by people who put up different web pages than the previous owners. If you feel comfortable utilizing a tool that may only be 90% accurate — that’s better than nothing — but don’t rely on it for real protection.
Tools that give parents detailed logs of websites visited, every keystroke typed, and even screen snapshots seem a bit creepy. Just because parents can monitor every aspect of their kids online lives, is it the right thing to do? Parents will take different sides on this issue. Parents today should think back to when they were kids: If your parents clandestinely listened in on your phone conversations, or trailed you in their cars at a distance, using parabolic microphones to listen to your conversations across the parking lot, would you resent or respect them for how they handled your upbringing.
SoftwareTime’s Approach to Parental Control
SoftwareTime’s stance is that the best web filter is the watchful eye of the parent. Ensure that computers are located in a public area of the house and if you choose, set limits that disallow use of the computer at times that you won’t be around to keep an eye on the activity.
ComputerTime encourages responsible use of computers. Kids push against boundaries, not always respecting limits. They don’t always act in their own best interest, and ignore consequences. Parental guidance is required. ComputerTime helps parents to provide this guidance, but does not replace parents.
With ComputerTime, it’s you, the parent, that still sets the rules for how long and when your kids can be on the computer. You can be strict with the limits that you set, or you can be flexible and let the kids manage their time within relaxed constraints if they have shown themselves to be more responsible. Since you’re only managing time with ComputerTime, it’s a less intrusive type of parental control.
Things Are and Aren’t Different Today
Kids with cell phones, the web, IM, email, FaceBook, MySpace… It’s a whole new world.
But kids themselves, they haven’t changed all that much. The aspire to be trusted, respected, loved, appreciated, etc.
The best way to handle our children in today’s technology-saturated world is similar to what our parents would have done when we were kids:
Have a good, open relationship with our kids where they feel comfortable talking with you. Spying on them would joepardize that relationship, so don’t do that.
Provide guidance. Teach your kids good values and responsibility so that kids can do the right thing whether that be at the playground, the mall, or online.
Pay attention to your kids. You’ll know when something is wrong; attentive parents notice subtle changes in kids behavior and moods when they are in trouble.
Give them roots and wings
Do you agree with this philosophy? Do you think parents always be aware of exactly what’s going on? Overtly or covertly? Leave a comment below.
—-
A quick shout out to my friend Brett, who posted about his fears and uncertainties about how to best handle the issue of how much privacy he should give his kids when they’re old enough to get onto the Internet. It’s a problem that a lot of parents wrestle with, and inspired me to share my two cents.
“What stands out is the consistency of the association of exposure and disease. The evidence, as I see it, is sufficiently strong that there needs to be public warnings, there needs to be establishments of exposure guidelines and that the present guidelines — in Canada, the United States or anyone else — are not protective of human health.
“I see us facing a major problem in the future because of the fact that young children are on cellphones constantly, and we may be setting ourselves up for an epidemic of brain cancer, the same thing we did with cigarette smoking and lung cancer.”
According to Columbia University physiology professor Martin Blank, who edited the special issue, the laboratory studies “point to significant interactions” of both power frequency and radio frequency with cellular components, especially DNA.
The epidemiological studies “point to increased risk” of developing certain cancers associated with long-term exposure to radio frequency, he said.
Learned about this story through Tina Su’s Tweet. Thanks for that link Tina!
I would agree. My kid has been playing with computers since age 1, starting with Mother Goose. It allows them to familiarize themselves with a critical tool that will be necessary for their future success in the 3rd millennium and 21st century. And it develops an interest and passion for something worthwhile.
The major source of calamity in our society is people plodding through life without direction or objectives. And idle, bored minds turn to nasty things…
How did our civilization ever prosper in the days before computers?
Why do so many parents get this so wrong? Idle, bored minds eventually turn toward imagination and creativity. Parents need to read Richard Louv and Jane Healy.
There is plenty of time for kids to acquaint themselves with technology. They don’t need a mouse shoved into their hands at one year or even five. Jane Healy, who has studied kids and computers thinks age 7 is a good time to introduce kids to computers. Young kids should be exploring the real world with all of their senses. They really don’t need the distraction of computers.
When did your kids start using computers? Do you think what they have learned will be a major factor in their success in life?
I am truly honored. Something I said is featured on Empowered Quotes today.
Some Background:
After stumbling upon Think Simple Now, I read a few articles that hit home with me. I shared some thoughts with the author, Tina Su about my life over the past five years, how I’ve gone from being an employee and husband to being a single entrepreneur, doing something that was more meaningful and fulfilling.
At the time when I was having problems in my marriage, having problems working for a sociopath, compounded with other problems in my life, I had come to realize that there would be no easy fix to all of this. I realized that I needed to quit my job. That was priority #1 at the time. I didn’t have another job lined up. I wasn’t sure what would happen next but I felt secure. I would be all right with the support of family and friends, and my own abilities. I knew that I could forge a new path.
At some point, when you realize that the road your own is going to lead to your early demise, you become willing to take any other road regardless of where it might take you.
So my way of expressing that was to say, “The plane that I am on is going to crash, so I’m jumping, and something tells me that I will find a parachute on the way down.”
It was a weird feeling. Anytime in the past, I would have not taken a risk like that. Somehow I had changed. It was as if I had lost the ability to have feel fear. Put another way, maybe I had found courage. But I wasn’t sure what it was. I asked my friends, “Am I just going nuts? Am I doing something stupid? I need a reality check.”
I received overwhelming support. So I stood at the edge of the opening in the fuselage and jumped. It it was an exhilarating experience.
Tina Su is an amazing person with wonderful insights into how to live a great life. And her smile in her pictures on her site radiates enough warmth that I think we can let Al Gore know that we’ve found the cause of global warming. You have to put her on your regular reading list.
I’m amazed that she thinks that something I said deserves to have the company of the words of great people like Martin Luther King, Jr and the Dalai Lama! Wow!
Tina, thank you so much, I am truly honored, and you’ve made my day.
Basically don’t stop thinking. You’ve graduated from a fine school perhaps, but that’s no reason to stop learning. The benefits of education don’t end.
Some studies even suggest a correlation between longevity and continuing education.
Reading won’t just stave off Alzheimer’s by exercising your mind, you will learn to make better decisions in all aspects of your life.
Learning new things improves your job prospects or can help you succeed in your own business.
The Internet is great for researching topics and quickly jumping to a piece of information with a Google search. But what about deeper learning? There are libraries of ebooks that you can read for free. Many of the classics of literature. There are course that you can take online. Free course materials that you can dig through at your own pace. Educational Podcasts.
You could easily lose yourself for eight hours a day with all of these resources. However, you know the Families and Technology shtick: The Internet is a wonderful tool, but it should not supplant the very valuable interaction with real people, the outdoors, and actually doing things.
If you find yourself getting addicted to online learning, install ComputerTime to reintroduce some balance in your activities.
How do you make good use of information resources?
Whether you suffer hearing loss from headphones depends on three things: how loud you listen to music, how long you listen, and what type of headphones you listen with.
Most MP3 players (such as the iPod) come with the earbud style headphones which are placed in the ear, will cause hearing loss faster than supra-aural headphones which rest on the outer ear.
The worst choice appears to be the headphones that isolate outside noise by fitting into the ear canal.
Played at no more than 50% of the maximum volume, none of the headphones appear to cause permanent hearing loss. You can even enjoy constant listening at those moderate levels.
Higher volumes bring the risk of damage, and then listening times also become a factor. If you are going to push the volume up, then you should limit how long you listen.
Recommendations: Find a good set of supra-aural headphones. I’m a fan of the Sennheiser PX 100 headphones. They are comfortable, light, and sound terrific. Most importantly, don’t play it so loud!
A reader sent me a link to Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy played on a “theraminbot”. For some reason, this works so much better. I had to watch it more than once.
Why do you think this seems more enjoyable than the robotic Coltrane?
How’s that for a twist in the title? It’s usually the parents who desire the ability to limit their kids access to Facebook, MySpace, online games, and YouTube.
In an interesting comment on a website, a homeschooler said that her oldest child was not yet old enough for Facebook, and she limits her kids to about [...]
As impressive as a robot playing Giant Steps by John Coltrane might be, it has no soul. It’s clearly not human. We can appreciate the technical merits, however we cannot appreciate it musically. For that we need the real thing as played by a talented human being.
Likewise, while we can appreciate all of the things [...]
The concerns about Families and Technology extend beyond this blog. SoftwareTime is a company founded on the idea that technology affects families in many ways. Balance and responsible use of technologies is important. SoftwareTime's products will help.
headphones. They are comfortable, light, and sound terrific. Most importantly, don’t play it so loud!