Thanks for sharing your story. You ask some good questions. I work from home a lot, and I have days (too many of them sometimes) where I have an abundance of work. Sometimes, when I work too much if my kids don’t get much of my attention, then they will turn to their online world. They get “bored” they tell me, and so they will go online.

Of course, I want to kick them off of their computers while I’m working and would rather see them outside a bit more on their own initiative. (Do as I say, not as I do.)

When I was my kids age, I could find many things to occupy my time. That was in the pre-digital age. I’m sure if I had all of this tech at my disposal, I would have been drawn to it too. But I also had two working parents.

I guess the point is that kids need good role models and involvement. Maybe if they had somebody to show them how to do things, and that person also did those things with the kids, then the problem might just be solved!

When i was in college, the first time around, i went off to Provence, RI from Long Island, NY. Since i was the oldest of four, I wanted to live independently and taste a little freedom. No one told me freedom cost so much. I worked part time at the school’s “cooler” cafeteria at night and went to class during the day. I didn’t always have money for books, and tried my best to make ends meet. To cheer myself up, i would go to chat rooms where i had “online friends” from high school.

We had “regs” or regulars that would come into the rooms every day and knew each other by nicknames made up from our screen aliases. It was a welcoming feeling when greeted by these virtual friends and gave me some sense of belonging. Since these chat rooms were the only places i could feel this way (without taking a bus 4 hours back home), i spent copious amounts of time online.

My grades suffered because i was unhappy, not because i was addicted to the internet (which i was). If i had thought more about where to study, what major would suit me best and sought after what i really wanted – to belong to something larger than myself, perhaps i wouldn’t need to go online.

The real question is, what are Facebook and other distractions providing that people seem to be missing in their lives?

I think it’s the growing need to communicate with others, to feel like they belong, and to be liked.

Attention.

Perhaps those that study more and have better grades are getting the healthy attention they need.

Ya, important things first. With my kids sometimes “I’m busy” means doing things like digitally communicating with their friends… I’m trying to get it through their heads that what I really mean by that is I need them to be productive first… then once they’ve gotten all their productive things done, they can then be busy doing whatever.