…but Facebook “makes it much easier.”
Facebook isn’t to blame for divorces any more than guns are to blame for people being murdered.
But if you give somebody a tool when they have intent to commit the act anyways, then the tool becomes an important part of the story. Facebook does facilitate affairs.
I know of a couple that recently went through a divorce, just about every point made in the article linked here fits perfectly with the situation that I witnessed. They both worked, and their kids had grown up. Then they sold her business and she was out of work. He kept working. She didn’t find a job, but increasingly, she spent her time online. With a Facebook account, she started connecting with old friends from high school and her network started to grow.
Her husband is decidedly non-techy and doesn’t go online. So he’s oblivious to what goes on. But she kept busy with her new social life. Facebook made it easy to find out about high school reunions at local bars, and to connect with new friends made at these parties.
Over the past year or so, she pushes for a divorce and it ultimately happens. The family almost unanimously agrees that she’s not the same person anymore. It’s as if she’s reverting to her teenage years. She has nothing interesting to talk about anymore, because all she talks about are her connections and social events with her new friends. When she’s with her family and the friends that she’s known for so many years, people notice that she’s tuned out and constantly texting with her online social network about the next gathering or hearing about how one of her new friends wants to ask another friend out. It’s frustrating to her contemporaries who believe that a social gathering is for people to socialize with the other physically at the gathering, not with people across the messaging networks.
I’m not blaming Facebook, or any other technology for her divorce and for how she’s acting. To me, though, it is clear that social networking facilitates a lot of connections between people that might not otherwise connect. In addition, if you have a partner that is not technically savvy and doesn’t go online, then social networking can be an effective way to quietly connect with a new group of people under the radar. Technology and social networks opens doors that were not typically available in the past.
Read the whole article: Is Facebook becoming a ‘tool’ for cheating spouses?
The Best Web Filter Is…
We’re used to saying that the best web filter is the watchful eye of a parent.
We believed that to be true, and that is why we didn’t tackle web filtering in ComputerTime. A number of filtering solutions already existed when we created ComputerTime, and none of them seemed to do the job adequately.
ComputerTime tackled the problem of monitoring kids’ time, and enforcing the limits that parents decided on. We advised moms and dads to keep the computer in a public place in their home. If they are concerned about what their kids view on the Internet, then having a direct line of sight to the screen when the kids are on it should work well enough.
I’m not sure that is the best advice anymore. We’re seeing laptops flourish, so it’s harder to keep those screens in a public part of the house and the screens don’t usually face outwards into the room when the kids are sitting on the couch.
So maybe it isn’t a bad idea to employ a web filter that does a good job of blocking the nasty stuff. While many were deemed inadequate a number of years back, I believe there is a solution that well enough for me to recommend it. It’s called OpenDNS.
Six Reasons Why You’ll Love OpenDNS
I’ve been using OpenDNS for a while now. I love it and recommend it all of the time. If you want to filter out inappropriate content, here are some reasons I think you’ll love it too.
- It’s Free: In this economy, what’s not to love about free.
- Easy Setup on Your Router: They provide really simple instructions, with screen shots, for most of the popular routers. All you have to type in are a handful of numbers into the fields that they tell you to. You really can’t screw this up. Click Save and you’re done.
- Entire Network Protected: That one simple setup on your router means that every computer on your network should now be protected by the filter.
- No Software To Install: The fact that you just change a setting in your network configuration, preferably on your router, means that there is nothing to conflict or degrade your computers performance.
- Up-To-Date and Accurate Filter: New domains and websites come and go every day. This is what made it hard for so many of yester-years filtering solutions worthless. The databases of what to block would be out of date in a matter of days and weeks. OpenDNS has input from thousands of users who are constantly tagging websites into categories. With an OpenDNS account and a bookmarklet you can install on your browser toolbar, you can contribute too if you would like, or you can just rely on the wisdom of the crowds of others that do all the tagging. See a sight that you think should be blocked as inappropriate? You would click on the bookmarklet, check off the categories and submit.
- Two Versions: Easy and Easier. Both are free. If you want control over what categories get filtered, choose the standard OpenDNS, set up a free account, and enter in the DNS server numbers they they instruct you to. Don’t want to get that involved, choose their new Family Shield, and simply punch in different DNS server numbers into your router and be done. Family Shield is configured to block “Adult Content”. I assume this means things like pornography, nudity, gambling, chat rooms, erotica, violence, guns, etc. Family Shield is OpenDNS, just without the finer control. Want to have more control, use their (still free) OpenDNS and create an account.
SoftwareTime, and myself personally, do not have any relationship whatsoever with OpenDNS. This is just a hearty recommendation from a satisfied user (me!) of their service.
I’ll add that I think that if you’re using ComputerTime, or thinking about using ComputerTime, OpenDNS or Family Shield really round out your parental control toolbox.
Can I get away with saying that ComputerTime now offers free web filtering? ;-) Probably not. But the net affect is the same. Go give OpenDNS or Family Shield a try.
More on the Family Shield announcement here.
