Hey, and you know what, kids can also install ComputerTime on their parents computers to prevent their parents from spending too much time on the computer!
Do you talk with your kids — about what’s appropriate for posting to social networking sites and what’s not — every so often?
Kids post crazy things on their Facebook walls sometimes. Parents that can clearly see what their kids are saying if they just reviewed their kids walls once in a while don’t seem to worry too much about what their kids are saying either. It’s mostly foul language, but once in a while, criticisms of peers (pre-cursors to online bullying perhaps), and sometimes sexually inappropriate remarks.
Teens will be teens, but what’s said amongst a group of friends in study hall or on the school bus is different than broadcasting to the entire network of 350 friends and family that follow you on your social channel.
Is it completely lost on parents that an expanded audience can see the posts? If Johnny posts something beyond the pale on Sally’s wall, then all of Sally’s friends can read. Sally’s friends might include her aunt who happens to be a college admissions officer at the college that Johnny wants to get into. Or it could be her uncle who is a cop. Or maybe she’s friends with the pastor. Be careful what you say, or you could go straight to hell! Just kidding.
Adults on facebook often post things that make them look like idiots to. I see idiotic comments from people I don’t even know personally. Lots of stupid political beliefs get shared. I have a list of people in my head now that I believe have very poor judgement, and idiotic beliefs. Then there are the people that I feel sorry for. Is your life really that boring? Wow. Thanks for the daily glimpses into the inanities of your days.
Big Brother Might Be Watching.
Beyond what your friends see and read about you, what if the government also pays careful attention to what’s in these social networks.
This NYT article presents the competition between the pros and cons of all of the technologies that we have at our fingertips. There’s an app for just about every kind of task you can imagine. and they can be used to help along your personal and work life.
But if you’re not consciously making sure that it’s working for you, it can own you, and before you know it, those same apps are taking away from your life.
From a family perspective, many of the ideas that are discussed from the perspective of adults can be adapted to kids as well.
You bought your kids cell phones so they can keep in touch in case of an emergency, or just for convenience. Have your kids been taken over by the cell phones? Do they text constantly to a point of being completely distracted all of the time? Have your kids turns into bad-manners-monsters because they can’t put them down even when they’re at the dinner table at the grandparents? Have technologies taken control of your kid’s reports cards?
What do you it turned out like? Yelling? Arguments? Kids breaking down and going into total melt down mode? Will Mom and Dad even be able to resist their urges and overcome their addictions?
“But it was too hard, and I worked out I didn’t have room at work, so I unplugged everything from the wall and took all the remote controls and hid them instead.”
Despite the trepidation, the result came as a surprise to everyone.
Rather than fall apart, the family rediscovered the value of spending time with each other instead of staring at a screen.
“I didn’t think it would go as easily as it did,” Mr Mason said.
“Fortunately the weather was good, meaning the kids could spend a lot of time playing with the neighbours’ kids in the street outside.”
Puzzles, board games and conversation also filled the gadget void.
The Masons said the social experiment had changed their lives as a family. For a start, television viewing is now banned at the weekends, enabling them to spend more quality time together.
And this this part hasn’t surprised me one bit, because it echo’s what so many ComputerTime customers have told me over the years:
“We’ve seen a totally different attitude from the kids,” Mr Mason said.
He said it was fascinating to watch how his brood changed their behaviour and adapted to the altered circumstances.
“At the start of the week they whinged a bit, but by about Wednesday they were over it.
“By the end of the week they weren’t asking for anything because they knew it wasn’t going to happen.”
Facebook isn’t to blame for divorces any more than guns are to blame for people being murdered.
But if you give somebody a tool when they have intent to commit the act anyways, then the tool becomes an important part of the story. Facebook does facilitate affairs.
I know of a couple that recently went through a divorce, just about every point made in the article linked here fits perfectly with the situation that I witnessed. They both worked, and their kids had grown up. Then they sold her business and she was out of work. He kept working. She didn’t find a job, but increasingly, she spent her time online. With a Facebook account, she started connecting with old friends from high school and her network started to grow.
Her husband is decidedly non-techy and doesn’t go online. So he’s oblivious to what goes on. But she kept busy with her new social life. Facebook made it easy to find out about high school reunions at local bars, and to connect with new friends made at these parties.
Over the past year or so, she pushes for a divorce and it ultimately happens. The family almost unanimously agrees that she’s not the same person anymore. It’s as if she’s reverting to her teenage years. She has nothing interesting to talk about anymore, because all she talks about are her connections and social events with her new friends. When she’s with her family and the friends that she’s known for so many years, people notice that she’s tuned out and constantly texting with her online social network about the next gathering or hearing about how one of her new friends wants to ask another friend out. It’s frustrating to her contemporaries who believe that a social gathering is for people to socialize with the other physically at the gathering, not with people across the messaging networks.
I’m not blaming Facebook, or any other technology for her divorce and for how she’s acting. To me, though, it is clear that social networking facilitates a lot of connections between people that might not otherwise connect. In addition, if you have a partner that is not technically savvy and doesn’t go online, then social networking can be an effective way to quietly connect with a new group of people under the radar. Technology and social networks opens doors that were not typically available in the past.
When my son was about half his age, he started to get online to play a few, fairly harmless online multi-player games. No big deal — except that these games included a “chat” feature where you can communicate with other players, which I hadn’t noticed.
I learned about the chat feature only after my son came to me frustrated that he couldn’t log into his account on the game anymore. Turns out that he got bored with the game, and decided to give away his earned points and skills to another player by giving the other player his password. Ugh.
We had a talk about sharing information with strangers online and we revisit the topic from time to time. Luckily, he didn’t give out much more personal information in the chat room.
You’re Not as Private as You Think, an article by Caroline Knorr at Common Sense Media, has a nice list of tips that you should consider and discuss with your kids. Especially with younger kids, they can be very naive about the risks of giving out personal information.
The wife of the new head of MI6 has caused a major security breach and left his family exposed after publishing photographs and personal details on Facebook.
Sir John Sawers is due to take over as chief of the Secret Intelligence Service in November, putting him in charge of all of Britain’s spying operations abroad.
But entries by his wife Shelley on the social networking site have exposed potentially compromising details about where they live and work, their friends’ identities and where they spend their holidays. On the day her husband was appointed she congratulated him on the site using his codename “C”.
Photo by Wesley Fryer You’re watching the evening news and the anchor says, “Coming up next! Something that will scare the crap out of you!” After a sequence of commercials, back to the news program where they report on a murder, or an abduction, or just something that shocks and frightens you. They peddle fear [...]
Following up on my previous post about fearing the internet… As a parent (or grandparent, educator, child-care-giver, whatever), Does the Internet scare you as a parent? Yes. I think the dangers are real. A little. Stay vigilant. Eh. It’s part of the world we live in. The real world scares me more. pollcode.com free [...]
The concerns about Families and Technology extend beyond this blog. SoftwareTime is a company founded on the idea that technology affects families in many ways. Balance and responsible use of technologies is important. SoftwareTime's products will help.
