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kids

Image of kids looking on as woman is caned for staying with her boyfriend.

A Fatwa on Final Fantasy?

by mark on May 13, 2010

Imam worries about effect of PC games on children.

An imam here expressed concern over the impact of computer games on children, saying the portrayal of gods as well as heaven and hell in these games could potentially confuse them about the concept of the hereafter.

Chief Imam of the Usamah bin Zahid Mosque in Wangsa Maju, Ustaz Murshidi Abdul Hamid, said although these were merely games, if left unchecked, it could negatively impact the minds of the young people.

Parents should prohibit their children from playing certain games if they contain elements which are against or derogatory to Islam,” he told Bernama.

While the rest of us are concerned about excessive gaming and it’s affects on our children, Imam Hamid is apparently mainly concerned about offense to Islam.

Meanwhile, a lecturer at Universiti Putra Malaysia’s Communications and Media Studies Faculty, Ishak Abdul Hamid [A different "Abdul Hamid" than the Imam mentioned above], said exposure to negative elements in computer games could also affect the children’s psychological development.

“They become obsessed with playing computer games to the point of neglecting their studies,” he said.

Good thing they are taking these steps, because we wouldn’t want Muslim kids being exposed to anything that would affect their psychological development in a negative way!

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Attempting to buy children’s affection with TVs and computer games… not a good idea.

Mary Bousted, general secretary of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers, said increasing numbers of children failed to respect authority or consider the needs of other pupils after leading “isolated lives” at home.

“Often it’s the well-off middle classes that buy off their children through the computer and the TV,” she said. “That then isolates them within the home, and then they’re surprised when their child isn’t coming to school ready to learn.”

Last year, Dr Bousted raised concerns that families were leading separate lives under one roof instead of sitting down to dinner together, with youngsters spending hours watching TV alone in their rooms.

The Whole Story.

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10 Tips to Teach Your Kids About Privacy

by mark on March 19, 2010

When my son was about half his age, he started to get online to play a few, fairly harmless online multi-player games. No big deal — except that these games included a “chat” feature where you can communicate with other players, which I hadn’t noticed.

I learned about the chat feature only after my son came to me frustrated that he couldn’t log into his account on the game anymore. Turns out that he got bored with the game, and decided to give away his earned points and skills to another player by giving the other player his password. Ugh.

We had a talk about sharing information with strangers online and we revisit the topic from time to time. Luckily, he didn’t give out much more personal information in the chat room.

You’re Not as Private as You Think, an article by Caroline Knorr at Common Sense Media, has a nice list of tips that you should consider and discuss with your kids. Especially with younger kids, they can be very naive about the risks of giving out personal information.

Have any additional tips you’d like to share?

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Who do you think has anxiety the most from kids having to unplug from their devices when they go to summer camp for two weeks? The kids? Or Mom or Dad?

In some cases, both.

Having gone through an Internet connectivity outage that went on for over twenty four hours, I can understand what it is like to feel unable to communicate via email, keep up with the outside world, and get work done. I work from home. So my Internet connection is important to me. I experienced significant frustration, a feeling of helplessness, perhaps some anxiety. But within a few hours, I realized that I would survive and that my connectivity would be restored at some point, and then I was able to move on to enjoy my forced vacation from being online.

Sounds like the kids who experienced the forced disconnection from tech at summer camp go through the same thing. But they do survive and quickly find out that their time can be filled with enjoyable things to do with other people. And many find that they even don’t miss their connectivity.

But the helicopter parents mentioned in the article appear to be the most anxious ones. Gasp! They can’t be in constant contact with their kids! And what is their reaction? Fear! The idea that their kids can’t pick up after a couple of rings to reassure them that they are safe makes Mom really uneasy… Does Mom resolve to let go and just get a grip? No. Instead she reassures herself that she can bug the camp counselors frequently to check in on her kid.

And what do the camp counselors have to do to fend off the barrage of worrisome parents constantly calling? They have to reassure parents that their kids are still alive by posting photos of them on an online gallery. Oh brother.

When I was a kid, my parents dropped me off for two weeks at camp, and then hopped on a ship to the Bahamas for at least a week if not longer. There was no way that either of us could get in touch with each other even if there was some kind of emergency. Maybe some kind of telegram could have been sent to let them know that I was eaten by a bear. But I have a feeling that my parents would have rather waited to hear about that when they got home. Why spoil a fun vacation in the Caribbean with news of my unfortunate death?

[photo by Symic]

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Kids on their LaptopsPhoto by Wesley Fryer

You’re watching the evening news and the anchor says, “Coming up next! Something that will scare the crap out of you!” After a sequence of commercials, back to the news program where they report on a murder, or an abduction, or just something that shocks and frightens you.

They peddle fear because it sells advertising. It gets you to pay attention.

We don’t become overly concerned about our safety in the real world, because we live in it every day — working, shopping, socializing, jogging &mdash and we know it’s safe based on our experiences. Horrible things on the news rarely ever show up in our lives.

The news widely reports, and harps on, those rare events that happen in the real world.

When they report about online dangers and examples of bad things happening on FaceBook, MySpace, chat rooms and the like, some parents become very nervous about their kids being in the online world.

Some parents, not having a lot of experience in the online world, aren’t living it every day and can’t grasp that it’s relatively safe. They are only going on the sensationalized news stories.

If you’re one of those parents who is concerned about the online world your kids inhabit, you need to take some steps so that you can relax.

First, get some facts to put things in perspective. I heard Lenore Skenazy on NPR’s Talk of the Nation to discuss the realities of online predators with Neil Conan, Richard Blumenthal, and Janis Wolak. Each has a unique perspective on, and it is worth the half-hour listen.

Lenore also wrote about the subject on her
Free Range Kids blog So check them both out.

Next, calm your nerves by familiarizing yourself with the online world. Even better, ask your kids to help setting you up. If they show you the ropes you’ll get a good idea of what they do online as they explain to you what is cool and what is dumb. Ask them questions like, “What if somebody friends me, but I don’t want to be their friend?” or “If somebody is my friend, and they start bugging me, can I unfriend them?” You may come away with a feeling that you’re kids are doing a good job of being safer online than you think.

But don’t be insulted or angry if they won’t friend you. This is a way that your kids hang out with their peers. You’re their parent, not their peer, and they will think it’s creepy that their parents insist on always being present in their teen hangout. Besides, don’t we want to keep adults out of our kids online hangouts?

Pick up Lenore’s, Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry and help your kids to grow up stronger and independent.

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Cell Phone – Brain Tumor Link, in Kids

by mark on March 25, 2009

Cellphones trying to pop corn kernals with their radiation! (urban legend)

Photo by Jakub Hlavaty

Another great reason why kids should spend more time face-to-face.

Cellphone use in kids linked to brain tumours

“What stands out is the consistency of the association of exposure and disease. The evidence, as I see it, is sufficiently strong that there needs to be public warnings, there needs to be establishments of exposure guidelines and that the present guidelines — in Canada, the United States or anyone else — are not protective of human health.

“I see us facing a major problem in the future because of the fact that young children are on cellphones constantly, and we may be setting ourselves up for an epidemic of brain cancer, the same thing we did with cigarette smoking and lung cancer.”

According to Columbia University physiology professor Martin Blank, who edited the special issue, the laboratory studies “point to significant interactions” of both power frequency and radio frequency with cellular components, especially DNA.

The epidemiological studies “point to increased risk” of developing certain cancers associated with long-term exposure to radio frequency, he said.

Learned about this story through Tina Su‘s Tweet. Thanks for that link Tina!

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How’s that for a twist in the title? It’s usually the parents who desire the ability to limit their kids access to Facebook, MySpace, online games, and YouTube.

In an interesting comment on a website, a homeschooler said that her oldest child was not yet old enough for Facebook, and she limits her kids to about 3 hours a week.

Her husband is the only computer addict in the home though. She says, “I wish I could limit my husband’s computer time like I do the kids. He’s addicted to Facebook. I would like him to play checkers or ball or something — anything — with the kids.”

Playing Checkers

Hmmm. ComputerTime can help in that situation, but would it create a sticky situation? Parents are expected to have authority over their kids. Married couples are on equal footing (usually), so she can’t really force ComputerTime’s limits onto him as if she was his mom.

She can ask for his consent, but he may not give it. She has surely pleaded with him to spend more time with the kids and less of the computer. If that didn’t work, he may just see her as nagging if she keeps trying.

What if this concerned Mom turned over control to the kids? Let the kids negotiate some reasonable limits with thier dad. “Dad, we will let you have five hours per/day, but not between 3:30pm and 9:00pm. Instead we want you doing stuff with us. We’re only going to be kids for a few more years you know.” (Cue the Harry Chapin here)

What reasonable parent would have a problem with that?

This tactic might work as well for workaholic moms and dads too. Don’t squander away the time you should be enjoying with your kids. Set limits with ComputerTime if you need to.

What do you think about kids being able to limit their parents’ time on the computer?

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The Only Thing We Have to Fear…

by mark on February 24, 2009

“Your kids may be in danger!” says the news media. They know fear gets people’s attention; attention let’s them sell advertising. The truth may just be less attention-grabbing.

Is the Internet a dangerous place where evil lurks and kids are at risk? Do we need to worry?

No. Probably not. Recent findings from a task force created by 49 state attorneys general suggests that parents can relax.

Report Calls Online Threats to Children Overblown. There is no significant problem after all according to the report.

Attorney General Richard Blumenthal criticizes the report and insists that “Children are solicited every day online. Some fall prey and the results are tragic. That harsh reality defies the statistical academic research underlying the report.”

Actually, most of the children are being solicited online by other children, and most children that get involved with adults online are actively pursuing such activity. Statistics don’t always tell the whole story and the fear mongers will withhold details if it doesn’t serve their purpose.

The whole report can be found here: Enhancing Child Safety and Online Technologies.

Porn and violence have become more prevelent in various media, yet teens are having less sex and there is less real violence. Is there a relationship there? Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds asks, are porn and violence good for America’s children? Then he says:

Maybe the porn, and the videogames, provided catharsis, serving as substitutes for the real thing. Maybe. And maybe there’s no connection at all. (Or maybe it’s a different one — research indicates that teenagers, though safer and healthier, are also fatter — so perhaps the other improvements are the result of teens sitting around looking at porn and videogames until they’re too out-of-shape and unattractive for the real thing…) Most likely, the lesson is that — once again — correlation isn’t causation, despite policy entrepreneurs’ efforts to claim otherwise.

In another report, video games do not lead to violence.

If we can trust these reports, then kids are not at increased risk of physical harm. Good! How about other detrimental psychological effects? Does it affect their brains? They’re social skills? Will it give them ADD?

Psychologist Dr. Helen Smith asks, Do social websites harm children’s brains? Helen points to the news about a neuroscientist, Susan Greenfield, who refers to sites like Facebook, Twitter and the like and says, “My fear is that these technologies are infantilising the brain into the state of small children who are attracted by buzzing noises and bright lights, who have a small attention span and who live for the moment…”

Wait a minute… haven’t kids of all ages, over the past century, been attracted by buzzing noises and bright lights? Don’t all teenagers have small attention spans and live for the moment? That’s a safe bet.

But let us not be so quick to be entirely dismissive. Parents are witnesses to their kids growing up around 24/7 cartoon cable channels, Internet access, Facebook, YouTube, cell phones, and instant messaging. Many have seen that when they don’t impose limits, hell breaks loose. Raising teenagers regardless of technology is one big exercise in imposing limits.

So what’s a parent to do in the absense of a definitive study that gives us clear results on if technology is beneficial or detrimental? Set limits, of course. Make sure the kids are finding time to do all of the other things that kids should be doing. Everything in moderation. Take everything the media tells you with a grain of salt and trust your parental instincts.

Here is a smattering of additional links that I’ve collected over the past few months that I want to share, but don’t feel like addressing individually right now. Enjoy.

Digital Overload Is Frying Our Brains

More ‘Screen Time’ Linked to Poor Fitness in Girls

How the Internet Damages Our Culture

Culture Makes the Internet Cruder, Not the Other Way Around

Study links TV and depression

What are your thoughts on all of this?

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Free E-Book on Free Range Kids

February 16, 2009

Though it’s a couple of years old, I came across a free e-book about free range kids: No Fear: Growing up in a risk averse society, by Tim Gill. This is not to be confused with the Free Range Kids blog by Lenore Skenazy, or her upcoming book called Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the [...]

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14,528 Text Messages in One Month

January 12, 2009

This Kid’s a Text Maniac! 14,528 text messages in one month. The online AT&T statement ran 440 pages. “First, I laughed. I thought, ‘That’s insane, that’s impossible,’ ” the 45-year-old dad said. “And I immediately whipped out the calculator to see if it was humanly possible.” He found it was – barely. It works out [...]

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